Sunday, February 5, 2012

PARTY TIME (duck and DIVE!!!) Oy VEY!!!


Photo taken yesterday afternoon with one of the several straight (or "monochrome rainbow") people I met and partied with in a local bar.

>>> YIDDISH IN THE TITLE refers to my reaction when one of the literally ALL-loving straight guys (who were honest -- while in the company of some DAMN fine women) about the how in Wilmington ALL the gay guys are married and a ton of fun -- so they saluted me in my new campaign of satisfying the married, see recent posting about THAT, and then one, in response to my comment that I could hardly believe his claims about his exotic piercing since I'd not seen it, IMMEDIATELY pulled his pud right out the barn door on the sidewalk -- practically in the STREET -- whilst we were smoking cigarettes in lieu of something hotter. IT HAD NOT BEEN KOSHERIZED (praise the Gentiles!!!)

Although I've detailed in the blog how I "went Jew" recently, I can't find it. But here's a fun posting: http://scottkenan.blogspot.com/2012/01/my-latest-jew-punch.html .

>>> DISCLAIMER: We were in the same bar that I met my probably-second-cousin -- once or twice removed -- Tim Kenan, shortly after I moved to town. Bizarrely, he'd heard of me before!!! I'd never heard of him and only have the 1967 edition of the book THE KENAN FAMILY, so he was too young to be in it.

THAT time at the same bar, he was celebrating his upcoming wedding with his fiance (female), and his male lover, who was soon to be his best man in the wedding (no shit!!!). Tim was showing off his tiny-titted, hairless upper body shirtlessly, while the rest of us drooled.

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So while we're on the subject of sex, you might enjoy this article posted this morning on Huffington Post, a Kenan-Family-Associated news source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/03/single-in-america-dating-politics-match-study_n_1253701.html .

Forgive me, Gentle Readers, but I've got to take a break to SMOKE A CIGARETTE!!!

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I'm back now, and before moving on, just a few highlights from that survey:

1. Democrats And Republicans Want VERY Different Things, especially when it comes to choosing a partner. Conservative Republicans were more likely than any other group to say they must date someone from the same political party, ethnic background and religious background who has similar views on money. Republicans also tended to look for a partner who wants to get married.

Democrats, on the other hand, valued a partner who respects them and has a sense of humor, independence, a similar level of education and the ability to communicate wants and needs.


2. Democrats Have More Sex, But Republicans Have More Orgasms: While conservative Republicans had -- by far -- the least sex in the last year, Fisher told The Huffington Post that they also reported having the most orgasms per sexual encounter.

Perhaps this is a question of quality vs. quantity? Fisher hypothesized that it might just be a matter of confidence.

"[Republicans] tend to be very sure of their values. ... Being relaxed in your life-vision makes you more relaxed in the bedroom," she said. "Liberal Democrats, we tend to question, we live in the nuances, the world isn't black and white -- [maybe this leads to being] somewhat less relaxed in the bedroom."
 




3. Liberal Men Appreciate Older Women: Fisher told The Huffington Post that liberal Democrats are the group most likely to commit to a woman 10 years older than they are. They're also much more willing to date someone who comes from a different family structure than they do.

4. Gay Singles And Straight Singles Want The Same Things: According to Fisher, the survey showed that sexual orientation doesn't matter much when it comes to seeking out a partner.

"Gays and straights are just as likely to want somebody who they can trust and confide in, somebody who respects them, somebody who's well-educated and somebody who they're sexually attracted to," she said.

The only significant difference between gay and straight singles' dating preferences was that gay men and women are somewhat less likely to care about their partner's religious and ethnic backgrounds.

5.  A Partner With Opinions? Some Say "No, Thanks": Conservative Republicans were the group least likely to want a partner that expressed strong opinions, while liberal Democrats were the most likely to. So it seems best to avoid an impassioned defense of gay marriage if you're trying to court a Santorum fan.
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>>>NOW. TO FINALLY GET BACK TO MY POINT:

The Kenan Family of North Carolina -- so instrumental in seeing to it that the South seceded in support of LIBERTY from the EXPEDIENCE-OBSESSED North, causing the Civil War, would like to remind you -- OK, I would like to remind you -- that pictures of the fighting boys, North and South, differed in a VERY IMPORTANT WAY!!!

Southern boys were frequently pictured seated with their arms draped across each other's shoulders, and SOMETIMES a hand of one gripped an up-and-out-pointed dagger, the hand positioned RIGHT IN HIS BUDDY'S CROTCH. I have seen several of these photos. And THAT is why Southerners fought so FIERCELY, winning battle after battle through the bulk of the war -- despite often overwhelmingly greater Union forces: We fought for not only our wives and girlfriends -- but also for our male lovers!!!

>>> I might or might not have gotten into more detail about that here: http://scottkenan.blogspot.com/2011/05/end-of-republican-party-praise-lincoln.html .

So as I and the entire Kenan family FINALLY conclude the Civil War after all these years of continuing skirmishes, I would just like to say: THANK YOU FOR HAVING GIVEN ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE SERVED. I COULDN'T HAVE HAD MORE FUN (now continuing with the married!!!)

>>> AND DON'T EVER TRY TO TELL ME:

That GAY FOLKS don't know how to FIGHT. We're the BEST -- BECAUSE WE'RE HONEST.

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>>> NOTES TO LAW ENFORCEMENT:

1. James Flowers, sometimes referred to in this blog as "Gargantua" because of his enormous prescription-drug-facilitated girth, returned to "The Shelter" last night, giving me a caution, but in conversation with him, I discovered that he's had NO CONTACT recently with James "Whitehead" "Licker" Lester recently AT ALL, and even said he hopes he never does again.

This proves that (just like with Catholics) there are PLENTY of fine Mormons.

2. James Sharpe (sadly, his tongue, again, displaying serious symptoms of tardive dyskinesia) also returned to the shelter, and I witnessed his arrival when he barged in and told the night captain that he had ALREADY gotten a bed reserved by contacting those MUCH HIGHER than the minister in charge -- and he was SURE a note had been left confirming this. The captain looked completely puzzled, but the line to get in backing up, and he, having a spare bed, gave it to James, who fell immediately into a drug-induced sleep.

James had just returned from two incarcerations for FAILURE TO APPEAR.

3. My nemesis, Jessie Jones, continued to be isolated and shunned by the population.

Thanks
Scott

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