Saturday, July 23, 2016

RP: Scott's "Believe It or NOT" -- Ultimate Edition (so far)!!!

RE-PRINTED from here

I will get to this in a minute, so HOLD THAT IMAGE.

Well, through a comedy of "Falwell" (as I'll call my new roommate who joins "Dapper Dan"), not having a phone, and a lot of minor annoying mishaps (to him, not me or Dan), he didn't arrive here until 3:45 PM -- later than the noon we had agreed on.

So dinner is delayed until dinner time -- and he's chomping down on Haagen-Daz ice cream bars, which suits him PERFECTLY. And he's sitting in my kitchen SHIRTLESS and the perfect vision for those who like 'em young and hairless.

But he's suggested introducing me to a gay friend of his and Dan's who likes older guys. Dan almost bonked him as the guy is so psycho he really hears voices, and his feet smell like a pigsty in July. Hey, "Bring on the Clowns", as Judy Collins, George Jones, Frank Sinatra, and even Babs Streisand used to sing!!!

Just in TIME!!!

Anyway, Falwell is very smart, considerate, and appreciative -- which Dapper Dan is too -- but today, the first day we spent much time together, I learned that Dan talks to himself to organize his mind, and tells endless unnecessary details in stories -- also to organize his mind. He went through a windshield some years ago at 90 mph, and the paramedics told him he'd die before they reached the hospital. He's fit as a fiddle, and not an ounce of body fat. He's just decided to train as a boxer (like he did twelve years ago).

Well may his head:

And it turns out that Falwell is only one class short of a degree in Criminal Justice from Liberty University (that program there actually has an excellent reputation). A Jerry-Falwell-ite.

Well, it was a screw up by his adviser's planning -- and as he said, HE should have noticed that error before it was too late to graduate on time. But he went into the Army as he'd planned, but NOT officers school, since he had no degree. And before out of basic training, cannabis showed up in his pee.

The End.

So, now in the last seven years, he's picked up a conviction (don't ask; don't tell!!!), and Criminal Justice Degree isn't worth going back for -- since he can't work that field. Thusly, he and Dapper Dan are hanging around in shorts and flip-flops, and so far I'm OK!!!

And although not quite a BATHHOUSE, my apartment shall be filled with BEAUTY!!!

We COULD get some good BLOG MATERIAL out of this, ya think???

THIS sort of thing, is meant for PRESIDENTS, no???

And of course my "friend" Jamie Lee Sutherland, then of Wells Fargo Advisors, Chicago, now of Ameriprise Financial, there, told me he SAW Obama and Emanuel in Man's Country Baths several times:

Call Jamie and ask -- if you don't believe ME!!!

Oh, and it turns out that Falwell (and I MIGHT have to call "Dapper Dan" "Shake", after today), never did ANY of his many required hours to graduate Liberty University -- of Certified Christian Community Service (evangelizin').

Said he didn't buy ANY of that!!!


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