Touched by Fire (apologies to Kay Redfield Jamison)

It’s heartening to see that when insanity runs wild, I can sit on the sidelines and enjoy the entertainment. Yesterday, Cynthia McKinney, my former Congresswoman, received the Green Party’s nomination to run for President of the United States. Known for her trademark braids and stop-light clothing, she lost her House seat soon after getting into a scuffle with Capitol Police in 2006 while attempting to enter a secure building incognito. Her hair freed of braids, her clothing bordering on demure, (but with temperament intact), she was stopped by hapless guards for an ID check. When the dust finally settled, Cynthia’s political career was toast—or so it seemed.

Previously, she had been known for scarlet-dress-hogging of the camera after each year’s State of the Union Address and lifting her beaming face to plant a kiss on George W. Bush’s face. (He did manage to dodge her one year—I forget which.) That after proclaiming on the floor of the House that W and his family intended to profit financially from the invasion of Iraq—long before Michael Moore stepped to the soapbox. She later introduced Articles of Impeachment in the House.

But what I’ll always remember her for was an interview attempted by an Atlanta TV crew at one of her fundraising parties during that final congressional campaign. Clad in sprayed-on jeans and dancing with her supporters on a sun-baked parking lot, she turned and shook her booty in the cameraman’s face. (YouTube posters—Hello!?)

We’ve also got another former Georgia congressman, Bob Bar, running for President this year—on the Libertarian ticket. Back in 1990, when he was the DeKalb County D.A. and I was crazier than a cross-eyed banshee, I had his office open an investigation of my parents’ attempted murder of me after they dragged me to a shrink and put me on a fistful of psychotropic medications. (My parents talked their way out of the charge—not a strenuous effort.)

Even Newt Gingrich, yet another former Georgia-congressman-flambeau, considered running for president this year. Back in 1990, I papered his local office repeatedly with hypergraphic evidence of the huge cocaine importation racket run by the nation’s top Arab Terrorist, KBG Agent, and Nazi Party officials (my employer, roommate, and parents—in that order). I papered Jimmy Carter at the Carter Center as well. Poor ol’ Jimmy’s been in more controversies since then than he’d had in the White House.

I suppose I can’t take credit for any of these recent events. I’d like to. Now, I sit on the sidelines writing my memoir of long ago manic adventures. I’ve passed the torch of insanity. I’m happy just to watch as those whose lives I crossed run with it.