>>> SPECIAL NOTE TO "WENDY": Jersey DIDN'T sleep with the "crack whore" "Flaming Amy." He fell asleep watching TV on her sofa while James was dipping his stick.
>>> EMAIL TO ROBBIE TRAHAN:
Hi Robbie,
It was the biggest thrill to receive your letter last night. (And THANK GOD you have email, as I'm more a typist than a hand-writer.)
I haven't seen Conrad yet to deliver his note. He and Theresa got into another of their legendary fights, and SHE was hauled off to jail. Jersey knows the details on THAT.
I'm writing slowly with too many cigarette breaks because there is so much I want to tell you, and it is coming to me in a jumble, so I'm TRYING to sort it before writing to make myself more clear, but let's start with this:
YOU HAVE BEEN MY BEST TEACHER IN WILMINGTON.
Bet you didn't expect THAT. HA!!!
And thank God I now know if you are Trayhan or Trahan. I've used both in my blog. That said, given that the first time we spoke that night at the corner of Front and Market when you seemed to use your LAST GASP of strength to get my attention before I was sure you'd pass out, and called "Scott Kenan -- I rode to court from the jail with you. You're a KENAN -- and that's PLATINUM, not gold." You DID get my attention, but it was not until you added, "You paid no attention to me. You only spoke to the blacks," that I KNEW you weren't faking -- although in hindsight, I'd say you told an accurate story, but I STILL have little idea how much you faked and how much you were real.
And there-in lies your CHARM. HA!!! Although you're also so damn CUTE, which even your drinking has never diminished (except the time it was so long and sustained your face looked for a few days like one of those monkeys in PLANET OF THE APES).
And after I begged a glass of water for you at a bar, The River Rat (MOST ironic name -- ironical in South Jersey), I took you home to get you washed up where you IMMEDIATELY went down on me (for all of three seconds), declaring you really LIKED it (which later became clear was ONLY to try to cement a false bond so you could BILK me of as much of the legendary Kenan money as possible over as long a TIME as possible -- NONE of which I had, unbeknownst then to YOU)
And even NOW, in your letter, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MY LAST NAME CORRECTLY!!!
What a great beginning to one of the BEST friendships I have ever been privileged to have!!! I mean REALLY. EVERYONE loves you -- even your enemies. I bet even Ben David, who had NO QUALMS forcing my friend and business-partner-designate Evan Fish to jump off the parking deck to his death and try to cover it up as a suicide. I still cry about that.
But I WON'T have to cry about YOU (Argentina???). You beat them all JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE SO FABULOUSLY YOU. You didn't have to make a big ruckus like I did to keep your life and sanity -- which TODAY, I might have actually COMPLETED essentially (my FIGHT, not my life), although I've thought that innumerable times before and been wrong.
But before I show you the evidence, there are a few things to say:
1. Just saw Jersey and he wants to know where his $50.00 is. (I'm betting it's with your cell phone that has all of Rock Royalty on speed-dial that you left on the fishing boat up near Hatteras).
2. I don't really care WHAT your sexual preferences are. I just want you to have as much sex as you can and with whomever you want to have it. I DO regret that I never completed what I started with you a couple of times -- if ya get my meanin', if you get my drift . . .
3. Did you ever actually work or associate with John Mayer in any way (or do ya just like him)??? Your ability to cry convincingly on demand is BEYOND awesome, as first seen when someone in that video of him singing "Daughters" "Robbie, we LOVE you!" that you had to view 600 million times, ACTUALLY convinced me that you DID co-write the song -- or at least actually ran audio/video at Grand Ole Opry at one time. (or had you meant "Osprey"???)
4. You REALLY ought to explore working as an actor -- you're so convincing. You could AT LEAST play yourself when the movie is made of all my "sleuthyness" -- and it WILL BE!!!
5. KISS MY ASS!!!: http://scottkenan.blogspot.com/2011/02/my-ass-aint-royal-but-you-can-still.html (my most popular blogpost, having received THOUSANDS of hits, so far)
OK. I took out the A-HOLES so that my friends and I (all too human to be able to put up with HATE paired with MODERN TECHNOLOGY to even TRY to live without getting addicted to one thing or another can NOW BE FREE to break their addictions without being KICKED TO THE CURB by the HATERS before they get halfway back to their feet (if they choose to).
I DEDICATE MY WILMINGTON TRIUMPH TO YOU, ROBBIE TRAHAN, The Yellow Bird of Texas!!! you call me Big Bird, and I think Jersey, since he's literally died five times now (three times medically confirmed -- and one of those times for over 30 minutes), The Resurrection Bird. Tennessee Williams was always referred to by Gore Vidal as That Glorious Bird, and with reason. We birds need to stick together!!! (seen Lady Bird, lately???)
>>> and that reminds me: How's your un-officially-adopted-by-you half-black son-of-your-ex-wife that your sister has been taking care of these last many years doing???
And how's your pancreatic cancer??? (God, I hope that wasn't real, or I'll feel just AWEFUL asking like that.)
Here are some fun blog-posts from today that you might enjoy in the order written. Each was IMMEDIATELY emailed to over 200 in Law Enforcement, the Press, Friends of Tennessee Williams, and Friends-of-Other-Persuasions (THIS email might appear next!!!):
http://scottkenan.blogspot.com/2012/02/wilmington-nc-police-chief-ralph.html
http://scottkenan.blogspot.com/2012/02/evidence-that-ben-david-and-ralph.html
http://scottkenan.blogspot.com/2012/02/black-community-in-america-especially.html
And you can always read the latest here: http://scottkenan.blogpost.com .
My new phone number: XXX-XXX-XXXX.
All best ALWAYS!!!
Scott
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