First of all, it turned out that the TV talk show whose host might want to interview me is actually not on TV, but on YouTube – which can be a very powerful thing or a complete dead end, but the host just began it three weeks ago, and he’s very enthusiastic about having me on in two to three weeks. He’s a playwright whose work has been performed at Thalian Hall (the most “serious” of the local theaters), and he wants to get a TV show interviewing people in the arts.
Last night, he interviewed Steve Fox about a book on Isabella Rossellini (Ingrid Bergman’s daughter), is big promoter of the Cucalorus Film Festival here (now designated one of the top ten independent film festivals in the US), is filming a documentary on the filming of the movie BLUE VELVET (I dated a musician in 1985 who lived in the Carolina Apartments then – the sign then covered with a sign “Deep River Apartments” as they used the building in the film – it was where star Isabella Rossellini’s character lived. This musician had once been Thomas S. Kenan III's boyfriend). The building overlooks Kenan Plaza and Kenan Fountain, the heart of the historic district. William R. Kenan Jr. originally built the Carolina Apartments, which were, at the time they were built, the most luxurious and technologically advanced apartments in North Carolina.
I wonder when and where all these peculiar connections I seem to find, end?
Steve is also encouraging a guy in Texas to bring here and develop his musical-theater adaptation of BLUE VELVET, if you can imagine that!!! Anyway, I had a long talk with him and some of his friends after the taping of the show last night, and hope to get involved. One thing’s for sure: My surname, regardless the distance in blood I have from the powerful branch of the family, turns heads and gets attention. I figure with that, my Williams association and book, my height and resonant voice, I can become a very influential advocate for the arts here in Wilmington – and then I DO know Tom Kenan directly and indirectly, as well, although in the world of Kenan, all things must always prove muster on their own. Best thing about the powerful Kenans is that the blood is not so important – it is the worth of the ideas.
This morning I talked to Mom, and mentioned that I had written Jane, asking for clarification. She had last written me that I would always be welcome in her house as long as I was on “my medication.” Well, in the last 6 weeks, I’ve had evaluations by three mental healthcare professionals (one of them saw me once a week over four weeks in jail), and all decided I did not need continuing psychological counseling or medication. I agreed with the last one that I HAD in years past had what could only be called Bipolar Disorder and exhibited destructive, strong mania at times, the last time probably being 1990. Lithium certainly had worked to stabilize me – and that all but guarantees that it actually WAS BD.
BUT, since then, I’ve studied deeply in metaphysics, primarily Science of Mind, and learned how to use This Thing we call God to co-heal myself with God – and it apparently is working, although the remission time has only been about 15 years so far. Now, I know that many readers of this would disagree, and would say I was quite manic in the last 1.5 years. We examined that very carefully in my evaluation last week, and decided that my apparent mania was actually my distracted reaction to a long series of very serious harassments (including seven attempts to commit me to mental hospitals, three poisonings, and three severe beatings that were STATED intentions to murder me but I relaxed, found opportunities, and escaped with serious bruises but not even one broken bone), brought on by my insistence of confronting those who wanted to control me with the truth (as I saw it).
Most interesting to me in my conversation with Mom this morning, was that she said Jane might not yet have answered because Jane is very “put out” with me for causing her trouble. Of my very immediate family, I probably caused Jane the least trouble, and we hardly had a shouted word with each other. I mentioned that I had not really heard from Mike in half a year (actually, an exaggeration), and Mom said I had caused the entire family an awful lot of trouble. But I pointed out to her that the family continues to work jobs that put food on the table, etc., and enjoys many luxuries. Even Jane, who probably makes the least money, has a kitchen and refrigerator crowded with great little gourmet foods and such from Costco – I sure hope she appreciates that. I probably caused some embarrassment by telling the truth about the past – and my recounting of presumably Dad’s, and definitely Mike’s and Connor’s histories of at least SOME homosexual activity (approximately 2/3 of adult men in America admit in anonymous surveys to at least one experience of homosexual sex to orgasm, so this ONLY proves they are average or typical).
WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL, PEOPLE???
Well, there are the swastikas and the beatings. Julie’s allegations that Dad did sexually inappropriate things to her, etc. At least I am asking the questions, and I will continue to do so, regardless anyone’s opinions of me being “mentally ill” for doing it. If anyone can provide a different, truthful explanation for any of these things, I’d like to hear it and will publish it – but it must be truthful. According to Yeshua-the-Jew, “Ye shall know the Truth and the Truth will set you free.” There are layers of meaning to this, but each works. When you feel freedom surging within you when you ponder an idea, you know you have hit on some aspect of Truth – whether it can be proven in a court of law or not.
Mom says I threw so much of my trouble at people in the family. First of all, no one had to react to my words or ideas – and no one did, except to go “ballistic,” deny my allegations, and to in any way support of me (Oppermans are excluded here)! Mom only paid me gas money to return from Mexico so she could more easily get me into a mental institution or at least heavily medicated – even very recently, she STILL wanted me to apply for permanent disability. I am VERY ABLED!!! Not ONE of you paid the $350.00 bail to get me out of jail where I remained for 28 days, causing my financial situation to deteriorate even further – which each of you KNOWS had to happen. You seemed to take pleasure in this. Seemed. When I got out, the THIRD person I asked for a job gave me one, on the second day I was searching. I could have done that 28 days earlier, and had I, I would not have to have had to spend three days first getting over the shock – not so much of having been in jail – but of the hateful words and actions of my immediate relatives. This only applies to my parents and siblings. As I’ve always made clear, no one else was under any kind of “moral obligation” to assist me, and I did that DELIBERATELY to pressure and test those who sit in their comfortable homes with jobs that pay tier bills and buy Costco treats. Between the five of you, only $70.00 each would have gotten me out to work and re-join productive society.
And the “crime” conviction will likely be thrown out on constitutional grounds, sparing my accuser further embarrassment. In any case, I’m not guilty of having broken the law – which I explained fully to all of you time and time again – yet you persisted in turning me the coldest shoulder imaginable, because you refuse to accept the truth about our family – NOT that I am correct about all I have deduced – BUT (again), NO ONE provides a believable different explanation.
No one.
Can you? (parent or sibling with courage enough to have read this far)
Enough for today. I’ll leave my immediate relatives in greater and greater peace as I go forward. I just want to be perfectly clear about why I hold you in the regard that I do. You know in your hearts what is true, and someday, you, too, will find your own healing. I know the truth about you: you are always the perfect opportunity for the greater expression of God in this world. When you know it too, I am going to throw a party that would catch the eye even of the Pembroke Joneses!
(For those who don’t know, Mr. and Mrs. Pembroke Jones owned one of the finest Italianate homes in Wilmington, as well homes other places, including their marble palace in Newport, RI, where their lavish parties – the most lavish were thrown to honor their longtime friend, Mary Lily Kenan Flagler, then the wealthiest widow on earth – inspired the phrase “Keeping up with the Jones.” Living and always traveling, house-to-house, with Pembroke and his wife, always, was Pembroke’s male lover. This fact was widely known at the time.)
Scott
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